AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
