she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
