ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
