Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
