My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize