so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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