I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
