He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
