Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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