I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
