sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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