Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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