She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
