So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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