She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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