Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
