i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
