But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
