Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's official drugs can't kill me
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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