I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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