there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
