but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
