your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
