he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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