He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
