Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
