I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
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Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
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just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.