dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im holly from the hills drunk
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
