did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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