Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
