Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
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Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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