So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
