HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
