Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
