Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Pants are for mortals
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
