i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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