Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
