I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Two words: nipple clamps
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