If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize