Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
