don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he shaved USA in his pubs
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
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He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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