How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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