How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
only if we run a train.
done.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
