i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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