Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
