They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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