I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
