Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
