come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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