i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
