I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
