it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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