Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
