Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Randomize
