if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
