You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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