do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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