omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
