I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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