i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
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Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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