put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You did what with his pubic hair?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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